the most scandolocious fish in the oz dust ballroom sea

lucky no.777 issue no.11

Welcome to Lucky No.777! For those who want to submit a question for the advice column which will be published in the end of month newsletter, you can submit that here! All questions are anonymous, so don’t be shy bb!

7 things i currently die for:

1. wicked part 1

   

   this should absolutely surprise no one, but wow what a gift this masterpiece is. I’ve never had two hours and forty minutes fly by quicker, and I will absolutely be returning to see this in theatres at least six more times. The world they built! Like obviously Cynthia and Ari giving masterclass performances, but even from Bowen Yang’s delivery of “I don’t see color” to the fun use of the piano choreography of Elphaba’s mom’s affair with the Wizard, this film is unlimited in just how brilliant it and wonderful it truly is. Died for the Idina and Kristin cameos, as well as Stephen Schwartz announcing “The Wizard will see you now”. Also whoever the male vocalist is on “One Short Day” (specifically at minute 2:34), I can’t stop listening to your buttery perfect angelic voice. While I anxiously await a size exchange for my Wicked Smoke Key Art tee I bought directly from the Wicked Broadway Store, I stand by all the Wicked themed things I purchased with money I don’t have. It was absolutely worth it to own both the Galinda Glow Drops from r.e.m. beauty and the Wicked Tote from Beis, and you better believe I will forever be sleeping in my Galinda Pink “It’s good to see me, isn’t it” matching set from Aerie.

2. goodles

   When I get obsessed with a meal, I consume it nonstop for months on end. Goodles are my current hyper fixation. High in protein, super easy to make, and insanely delicious. Cheddy Mac and Shella Good are my go tos. I am obsessed with pouring the cooked goodles over brocolli and spinach, which fun fact steams the veggies instantly, and serving in my pasta bowl plates that I should’ve purchased for my adult life a decade ago. I absolutely use butter, even though it’s only optional. Perfect dinner option. Perfect late night snack option. Perfect everything option tbh.

3. Dirty Diana

   

   This was my November Book of the Month selection, and boy did it not disappoint. Short and steamy, coming in hot at only 250 pages, this was a fun one. Some of the best sex scenes I have read in a long time, and I loved the sequencing of flashbacks. Not to mention the exploration of female desire. I read this after finishing All Fours, and this had the kind of sex scenes I wish All Fours had explored. Would love to see this turned into a short limited series or Netflix movie.

4. bad sisters season 2

   Sharon Horgan can do no wrong in my book. Finally able to binge the latest season while I was catsitting, Season 2 reinforces my love for this brilliant series. The cinematography alone is enough to want me to relocate to Ireland, but the complex storylines between the sisters is really the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I don’t even like murder or scary plot lines, yet this show has me hooked. I love how they also weave in themes of religion and guilt and morality. Really hoping they bring Daryl McCormack back for more than just a brief funeral appearance, because he remains one of the sexiest men alive. Soundtrack slaps. Every actor so well cast. I die for this show.

5. pickle diet coke

   

   First influenced by Dua Lipa pouring pickle juice into her Diet Coke when she was in Austin for ACL, I have now taken to fixing a pickle diet coke as my evening cocktail of choice. I recently finished my jar of spicy pickles from Sweet Pickle Books and use the leftover juice to top off a fierce mason jar of Diet Coke over extra ice. Shit slaps. You’re welcome.

6. rhode pocket blush in sleepy girl and new peptide lip tint in cinnamon roll

   Hailey needs to stop dropping new items because my bank account is already dead and buried after all the Wicked collabs. I never realized I could be into darker blush, but this shade is so flattering, and the pocket size makes it perfect for on the go touch ups. I also am obsessed that it can double for lip. Also, as someone who struggles with lip liner and lippies in general, peptide lip tint keeps me on top of my hot girl shit.

7. “never been better carrie ann”

   

   In case you missed it, this is a quote from Ilona Maher’s freestyle dance in the finale episode of Dancing With The Stars Season 33. I immediately wrote this down and told one of my closies that this would be response to everything going forward. To me this symbolizes redemption. How are you feeling today asks my therapist? Never been better Carrie Ann! (see title of this newsletter issue)

7 minute essay: been holding space for the lyrics of defying gravity for over twenty years daddy

It didn’t really hit me until the very end. The shot of Elphaba falling to the ground, and then suddenly, she sees her child self also falling. Inner child work I exclaimed under my breath! The film wrapped up, in the signature Wizard of Oz font I had just seen the night before when I had rewatched The Wizard of Oz as homework for the first Wicked movie, and then I burst into tears. I started to think about who I would be looking at if it was me and I was the witch falling. I’d see that little girl who first discovered Defying Gravity on “The Best of Broadway-The American Musical PBS Series” CD one Wednesday afternoon while fixing an after school snack of probably Pringles and a Coke. My parents were still at work, my siblings both went to different schools, and so I had the house to myself from 3:45-5:00pm weekdays. Defying Gravity was the last track on the CD, and I immediately understood why, because it was the most thrillifying number on the whole tracklist. I listened to it nonstop.

 I had always loved musical theatre, I had done Jesus Christ Superstar and Children of Eden through my church. I was very fortunate that my parents were incredibly supportive of the arts, taking us on trips to New York to see Broadway shows multiple times during adolescence. We saw everything that came through our city on a national tour. We spent Friday nights watching strictly movie musicals like Seven Brides for Seven Brothers and Carousel. While other families went out to baseball games or The Olive Garden, we as a family attended The Sound of Music singalong where costumes were not just encouraged, but mandatory. I had just done Annie at my school, and thanks to my friend Sarah Kellman, was finally learning all about Thoroughly Modern Millie and Avenue Q. I downloaded the entire Wicked soundtrack onto my iPod. I spent weeks memorizing the lyrics, listening to the soundtrack on repeat while I did my French homework. I was so obsessed with the show, I even bought the libretto. I wanted to sing Defying Gravity for my fancy performing arts high school audition, and luckily my incredible chorus teacher convinced me to sing Popular instead. Thank you Mr. Tuck for ever so subtly teaching me how to play to my comedic strengths, instead of my delulu dreams that I could magically belt a high E6 on a random Tuesday just because Idina Menzel did it.

For Christmas in 2004, my mom surprised me with tickets to see Wicked on Broadway for January of 2005. It was the first trip we ever took to the big apple, just the two of us. We flew into Laguardia and shared a yellow cab with a woman in her early forties. When she learned we were seeing Wicked, she got so excited! I listen to the soundtrack when I work out on the elliptical! You’ll see, but Glinda does this fun foot pop! And I do it now too, even from the treadmill! I think now about how it’s so tragic we don’t share cabs with strangers anymore. We just take overpriced $100 Ubers with our airpods in. 

My mom and I braved New York in January to have tea at the American Girl Store. We went shopping on Fifth Avenue. I got my very first Lacoste v neck, which as a future Blair Waldorf wannabe was very on brand. Then on a freezing Saturday night, we arrived at the Gershwin so I could finally see the show that had consumed my entire essence for the last four months. I was such a brat in being annoyed that the vocals didn’t exactly match the soundtrack recording I had been listening to. Kirstin and Idina had recently  left, and I was too young to realize what a gift it was getting by seeing Jennifer Laura Thompson and Shoshana Bean. I mean, hello?! What I would give now to go back and tell myself this was iconic, all of it!!

I wouldn’t think too much about Wicked until I moved into my sorority house my third year of college. I was rooming with two girls from Texas and we were sharing a triple. They were best friends, and I was definitely the random third. I was feeling self-conscious unpacking my all pink PB Teen bedding that was on brand for who I was when I started college, but not so much now that I identified more as the edgy girl who wears feathers in her hair and does molly for Avicii. In an attempt to find common ground, one of the girls saw my Hair poster and exclaimed, Did you see Wicked? I loved that one! 

“Yeah it was so good!”, I replied….and then we never spoke of it again.

When I was on contract in Cincinnati, Ohio Wicked did a sit down at the Aronoff Center. For an entire month I played the lottery hoping to win $40 tickets, which was bold considering I was making $100/week as a nonunion actor just trying to earn equity points so that once I was back in New York I could get seen for auditions. My contract bestie Kevin came with me. We lost the lottery, but this very kind woman who had won offered us her tickets because she ended up having extra, and so we got to see Wicked on a Sunday night in September. Our Elphaba was the standby who during “No Good Deed” forgot her words, to which I always joke, She should’ve sang “I don’t even know what I’m singing!” instead of “I don’t even know what I’m reading” and leaned into the improv of it all. Didn’t this actress take Improv 101 at UCB at least once?!

After the show, Kevin found a five dollar bill in the parking lot and I have this video of him standing in the pouring rain of a downtown Cincinnati parking lot saying straight to camera, “This is the greatest day of my life”. As far as my time in Cincy went, I can genuinely say it was probably one of the best days during my tenure there.. This would be weeks before Kevin would have to drive to Kentucky to pick me and another intern up in the middle of the night because we got into a catastrophic deer accident while driving back from an audition for another theatre. 

When I first met my current roommate, I learned after complimenting his Wizard of Oz room decor that he has seen Wicked 65 times. As of the date of writing this, he has now seen it 70 times. Truthfully,  I hadn’t ever really considered seeing Wicked when there are so many new shows on Broadway to see, but on the eve of my birthday last year, when I was in the thick of a depressive chapter and had recently lost both my job and my best friend, I showed up to the Gershwin two and half hours before the Saturday 8pm. I famously have very bad in person lottery luck when it comes to Broadway lotteries. I feel like if I ever do win the lottery, it’s digital. Don’t worry, when the Hamilton lottery was having it’s mega moment I wrote many a UCB character sketch where I played the character of… you guessed it, the Ham4Ham lottery. When they called my name I almost didn’t believe it. I proudly showed my ID and waited in line with the other lucky winners. A mother daughter duo just three spots ahead of me, it reminded me of when I went with my mom all those years ago. I had a burger at the bar at one of my favorite local pre theatre spots, and then took an edible. I got to see Alyssa Fox and McKenzie Kurtz and they slayed the house down boots. I am embarrassed to admit I had forgotten just how incredible Wicked is. I relished every second of it.

I’ve been hyped about the movie ever since the news first broke. I’ve been patiently counting down the days since Ari and Cynthia started the marketing campaign that will go down in history as one of the most iconic. I cried when I first watched the trailer. I bought Wicked eye shadow and Galinda pajamas and an Elphaba green makeup bag. I spent $8 on the Elphaba Cold Brew.  I’ve watched every single interview. Some nights I just listened to the tiny snippet of Defying Gravity in the trailer just to feel something. And then the big day finally came. I met my friends Catherine and James, my real life Galinda and Fiyero. I showed up to the theatre in my Wicked tshirt that MK Morrisey wore for a Broadway in Bryant Park event and a long green leather trench, to which James announced upon my arrival, “Oh I didn’t know Nicole Kidman would be joining us!” We got our popcorn buckets and giant Diet Cokes and put on our Ozdust ballroom–sorry!--3D glasses and watched Wicked Part One. I had rewatched The Wizard of Oz the night before as homework to prepare me, but nothing could prepare me for how moving this film is. I was absolutely transported to Oz. I had my heart broken open. I haven’t been that moved by something in so long, and I go to the theatre often.

Wicked is a love story about the power of female friendship. Wicked is about standing up to the evils of fascism. Wicked is about trusting your instincts. Wicked is about understanding that two things can be true at once. Wicked is about deep empathy.

Seeing Wicked on the big screen was not only something I didn’t know I needed, but it reminded me why I fell in love with performing and musical theatre in the first place. Wicked has been with me for over twenty years now, even if there have been periods I have forgotten. I’ve been journaling a lot lately about how I feel sad that I don’t perform much anymore. I joke that I retired after the pandemic, being offer only, focusing mainly on my writing. I only do stand up once in a blue moon, and while I was technically performing when I hosted at The Ride, it was a show that ultimately caused me greater heartbreak during one of the most bizarre years I’ve ever experienced. I stepped away in September, and besides my silly Tiktoks that I film on the way to my day job, I have moments seeing shows where I find myself incredibly sad because the truth is, I spend the majority of my time working a job that pays my rent, but isn’t what I moved here to do. 

Wicked reminded me that I’m a huge fucking theatre kid freak who loves being loud and dramatic and wild and passionate, and I’m so sorry that I have been sleeping on my art lately. 

It’s too late to go back to sleep.  I’ve been holding space for the lyrics of Defying Gravity for twenty years now. Some things I cannot change, but til I try, I’ll never know, ya know?